SAGNOF Report: Anderson Steals And Sliding
If all the experts in the world had baby T-Rex arms, no one would be able to pat themselves on the back. I am lumping myself into the SAGNOF love fest that the grand master Lothario himself, Grey, was...
View ArticlePadres Miss Gerrit, Learn Facts Of Life
Gerrit Cole has filthy stuff. He can hit 100 MPH with his fastball and make all four of our girl readers go, "Ooh..." Which reminds me of my Walk on the Wild Side remixed chorus, "And the four girl...
View ArticleLohse Gives Up Dos
Yesterday, it was the day of the pitcher. Since I started this blog, I can't remember a more pitcher dominated day. Did anyone get a hit yesterday in any game outside of Coors? Put on your long johns...
View ArticleCobb Treats Yanks Like His Salad
I'd say Alex Cobb was fantastic again last night, but I have to pay David Stern a nickel to use the word fantastic and money is tight, yo. If it wasn't for the ball off his melon, The Tampa Bay Peach...
View ArticleJump On My Buy Boat Cuz Avisail
This is the last Buy/Sell of the season so I was going to title this post, "Grey Needs A Vacation," but who wants to hear about what I need? This is all about what you need for your precious fantasy...
View ArticleWhen All Ells Fails, Yanks Spend Money
You take a guy fresh off a boat -- let's call him Sailor -- and Sailor's boat left a country that didn't have baseball. After explaining what baseball is, you tell Sailor that one baseball team, the...
View Article2014 SAGNOF: Outfielders Part 3
This is the last stop on the SAGNOF express for outfielders. You can Part 1 and Part 2 to catch up, or, if you're like me, you've already been distracted by an advertisement for an adult MMROPG on the...
View ArticleAmbulance Chasers
I'm the new guy here at Razzball, but there's no need to be stuffing me in lockers or treating me to a lunch time swirly in the men's room -- I've been around the block for a while. Shoot, I was...
View ArticleK-Rob Ruins Yank And Groin Combo
Here's me yesterday looking to pick up the new Yankee closer.... *types Kelly into waivers box, presses Enter* Inner monologue, "Joe Kelly?! No, I don't want him! Casey Kelly?! Blech! C'mon, this is a...
View ArticleSpringer Time For Houston And Fantasy
The Houston Astros who crawled through a river of shizz and came out clean on the other side. The entire organization looks up in the air, rain beating down. Hey, Bus Driver, take the Astros to...
View ArticleJace Is The Place For Steals
Jace Peterson continues to see regular playing time with Chase Headley on the disabled list. Headley is expected to return around May 10th, so we should get another week of SAGNOF from Peterson. The...
View ArticleShaw Shanks Cody Ascension
I mustache you a question, when you drafted, were you Axfording a hard time from your closer? Then you got it. John Axford finally was removed from the closer role. Francona said, "I've seen crap...
View ArticleWhile My SAGNOF Gentry Weeps
Coco Crisp's recent neck injury opens the door for Craig Gentry over the next few days. He'll likely take over in center and bat at the bottom of the A's lineup while Crisp practices turning his head...
View ArticleJones-ing For Steals
It's not even June and the Mariners are on their second leadoff hitter in James Jones. The 25-year-old center fielder has hit at the top of the Mariners lineup and looks to remain there for the...
View ArticleLineup Maximizer: Stop Dickerson Around
I said in my last post I wanted to start off my articles with small discussions about this common game we play that bonds us. The people demanded, I deliver. Today, I want to talk about awareness....
View ArticleJam It or Cram It: WillingJam or WillingCram?
With a quarter season of jamming and cramming behind us, it may be time to start taking some serious inventory. No, not a fearless moral inventory, that’s 12-step talk and I ain’t no quitter – just ask...
View ArticleDaniel-San Dominates The Dojo
I already went over my Danny Santana fantasy three weeks ago. But forget SAGNOF, Daniel Santana was an offensive machine this weekend! Leading off for the Twins on Saturday, the 23-year-old went...
View ArticleMets Get Young Again
Eric Young is set to return from the disabled list prior to today's game. While hamstring injuries are never fun to mess around with, Young did have 17 stolen bases before the injury. He had been...
View ArticleJonesing For Steals
Well that was a nice easy title to kick things off after a week's vacation. All that fresh sea air and funnel cake at the Jersey Shore really refreshed me spiritually. Of course the Atlantic City...
View ArticleYankees Chase The Draggin’ Headley
Something many of you don't realize, but one of the first people to talk to a player that was just traded is his new team's tailor. The Yankees tailor got on the phone with Chase Headley to find out...
View ArticleNo More Snickers With That Melky Way
Last night, Melky Cabrera hit two homers. Watch out, Melky's lactating home runs! Sorry, I cribbed that from Rotowire's notes. Kidding. Of course. Imagine you clicked on a player's name on another site...
View ArticleYu Are So DLaful To Me
Yu Darvish hit the DL with elbow inflammation. In Grey's 2nd half rankings, he said, "BAM! What? (Darvish) should be in the top 20 with the rest of the big-name pitchers, but I’m worried about an...
View ArticleRusney Is Puig Latin For Steals
The signing of Cuban outfielder Rusney Castillo by the Boston Red Sox has everybody excited. Like other Cuban players, scouts were limited in the amount of looks they were able to get and so the...
View ArticleDraftKings – Thank You Trevor, May I Have Another?
I’m a Twins fan (we comin’ in 2016), but I have little trouble picking on Trevor May, who has gotten knocked around like a guy in Knockaround Guys (never saw – looked dumb). Through his first four...
View ArticleDraftKings – El Nuno Watch
Call it recency bias. Call it trending stats. Call it your mom. I don't care. The Rockies on the road are still 'teh suck'. Earlier this week I told you to Leave It To Peav'er for similar reasons. If...
View ArticleDraftKings – I Left My DFS Account in Francisco
The best part of playing DFS this time of year? Having a horse in the race even if you don't have a horse in the race. No more phoning it in from August 1st until the end of the season just because the...
View ArticleTerrance Gore: A Convenient SAGNOF Truth
Nothing captures a reader's interest more than an Al Gore reference. At this point in the long fantasy baseball season you don't need me to tell you that Jarrod Dyson is a good pickup for SAGNOF....
View ArticleBraun Caught Rest-Handed
Ryan Braun revealed he doesn't have a thumb issue, he has a whole hand issue. Unfortch, he's also proving to have a 'can't stay on the field without steroids' issue, which is the result of a 'steroids...
View ArticleOffseason Stock Report: Breakout Hitters
In the first article of this series, I looked at some of the most disappointing fantasy performers from this past season and attempted to project what should be expected from those players in 2015. If...
View ArticleRolling In The Deep, Week 22: Kevan Cahna Wait
So, I thought the ridiculously garish nickname jerseys over "players’ weekend" were going to be the lamest thing ever (side note: Huh? Don’t the players get 100% of the attention every weekend? Isn’t...
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